Jan
19
To Married Ladies: Would you let your husband be friends with his ex-wife?
ByGreen Lantern asked:
The ex-wife is suffering from anxiety and depression. She is now in a relationship, but sometimes finds comfort from talking to your husband. None of the mushy stuff, just plain moral support. The husband has been totally honest about it to her wife. Is there anything wrong with this?
The husband didn’t have any kids with the ex.
Winning Back Your Ex
The ex-wife is suffering from anxiety and depression. She is now in a relationship, but sometimes finds comfort from talking to your husband. None of the mushy stuff, just plain moral support. The husband has been totally honest about it to her wife. Is there anything wrong with this?
The husband didn’t have any kids with the ex.
Winning Back Your Ex
26 Comments
January 22nd, 2010 at 8:10 pm
not if the husband is also her therapist….
January 24th, 2010 at 6:29 pm
Nothing wrong. Helping another human in distress is always a good thing.
January 26th, 2010 at 9:51 am
I would not allow it. That is my opinion.
January 28th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Only if he has kids by her.
January 31st, 2010 at 2:26 pm
No. Anything wrong or not, just no.
February 1st, 2010 at 2:35 am
I think that is acceptable, one of the reasons they were married before was because of their friendship, and especially when dealing with anxiety and depression it is nice to have an old friend to lean on.
February 1st, 2010 at 10:45 pm
This would totally depend on the situation. My parents have been divorced almost 30 yrs and they are the best of friends. It has worked out really well for me and people envy me for it. Of course, that’s a rare situation and I would be very careful. If there are kids involved, definitely. But always trust your gut.
February 3rd, 2010 at 3:07 pm
There is alot wrong with that. That starts an emotional relationship which will in turn lead to a physical relationship. That person may not think that it will happen but it will. People can still have emotional affairs. Not a good idea.
February 5th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
It depends. If I had an open relationship with the ex and we got along I wouldn’t mind. But if we hated each others guts I would be very uncomfortable about it.
February 6th, 2010 at 4:06 am
slippery slope, best to stay away
there are 4 billion people in this world – let her find another shoulder to cry on!!
February 6th, 2010 at 6:45 am
Only if they have children together, and even then there would be a fine line that would need to be drawn.
February 6th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
well, as a woman i wouldnt appriciate it. i would hope my hubby would make a smart choice and forgo his ex and move on, i would say it would be the ex plea for help, i know how women operate.
February 8th, 2010 at 3:09 am
no nothing wrong and she should be glad hes honest about it and not hiding it
my man dosent like his ex wife much and she dont bother us
February 10th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
When my husband was alive he talked to his ex wife. She and I met once and did talk on the phone. I was cool with it. He passed away in Sept and she died about 8 months later….weird… they were in their early 50′s…..It never bothered me. If you are secure in your relationship what is wrong with being friends?
February 12th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
there is nothing wrong with a friendbut as long as it stays as a FRIEND..but make sure you let her know that your there for her..maybe she feels like she can’t talk to you..assure her that you are there for her..go wrap your arms around her and tell her you care..
February 16th, 2010 at 12:22 am
different things work for different people.. thats totally up to how you feel about it.
February 19th, 2010 at 9:58 am
It is not wrong, but it is also reasonable for your wife to be a little threatened, by your ex-wife, especially if you are close. It really depends on a lot of variables.
February 22nd, 2010 at 7:16 am
I would be upset, but I guess if it is all above board, I can see allowing him to help her some.. not completly. If there are kids involved, then it is best if they do get along. The children dont need to see their mother sick and their father non supportive.
If the relationship crossing the line from supportive ex spouse to something more intimate then I would be totally upset.
February 22nd, 2010 at 10:11 pm
I personally think I’d have a hard time with it, but I know two really great happy familys in which the ex’s get together all the time (not to go out to lunch or anything, but at thanksgiving, family bbq’s etc). It is a sign of strength to be accepting and extend someone that courtesy. And if they had a family together then that is even more of a reason to be the better person and just **** it up and realize they have history together. There are probably books on this type of thing that can give you better advice, but I’d just say try to be the bigger person…
February 23rd, 2010 at 4:19 am
i dont think theres anything wrong, however they should stick to just calls- no lunch dates!
February 23rd, 2010 at 6:28 am
No, I don’t think so (I mean no, there’s nothing wrong with it). Especially if there are children involved. A good relationship/friendship is important for “mommy & daddy” to have.
If there are no children, then it all depends on the personality of the “ex-wife”….. and the trust level in your marriage. I trust my old man completely, and there is no doubt in my mind that he is loyal, therefore, he can talk to, and be friends with whomever he chooses to. If the ex is one of the psycho drama queen types, then it’s not a good idea. If you trust your hubby, and you believe him, then no- no problems here.
February 24th, 2010 at 3:20 am
After what my husband’s ex put him and his family through, hell no. His choice not mine.
February 25th, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I would probably understand ,but would still want to be with my husband when she was talking to him.
February 27th, 2010 at 11:58 am
Personally, I have been friends with my ex’s wife. I just think that if one is self-confident and is married to an honest man, there is nothing to worry about. You cannot make a person love you or be faithful to you if that is not their inclination so why worry about whom they select as friends. If you have to worry about your mate’s faithfulness, you don’t have a good relationship.
February 28th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
if i were the wife i would not be too happy with it, because it takes time away from your wife for one, and u need to invest in your life now not an ex. the past is the past, and she’s an ex, i would be quite upset if my husband were talking to his ex, i would find it disrespectful. also i would wonder if something else were going on that shouldn’t be. it is always a risk when u allow another woman into your marriage even if its only an emotional connection.
February 28th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
LET? omg are we 5th graders.
You chose to divorce her for reasons only you and she know so what on earth would compell you to be her sounding board now? are you putting as much effort into being a supportive husband/sounding board to your 2nd wife?
She made her choices and you made yours if it doesnt bother your wife consider yourself 1 of the lucky one’s who has a wife who trusts you , if it does bother your wife then STOP DOING IT!!!!
How would you feel if her ex-husband was depressed and his marriage or relationship to another woman wasnt working out so he used his ex wife your wife to be his sounding board , I’ll tell you from personal experience everytime my 1st husband had problems with his g/f he rang me to get advice on how to make it work which I found quite funny considering he didnt work half as hard to make our marriage work and for 12 months I gave him sound advice , know where it got him ? no where , why? because she wasnt as into him as he thought she was.
It caused major jealousy issues with my 2nd husband he even accused me of having a sexual relationship with my ex husband i told him please I divorced him for more reasons then to keep him and that if it bugged him so much I’d quit it and I did.Because I wasnt willing to sacrifice 1 marriage for an old marriage that was full of lies and betrayels.
There is just to much wrong with this to answer in 1 go.