Just after a breakup, it’s normal to feel hurt. Your immediate reaction would be to try to get her back. But the question is ‘how’? What you should certainly not do is harass her, go everywhere she goes, beg her to come back to you, promise her things will be different now etc. You’ve got to give her some space and time to think. Remember, she’s just as hurt as you are. As difficult as it is not to contact her, you should just lay off for awhile. If you’re thinking of calling her and assuring her that you will change, don’t. It will only make matters worse.
Instead, you should take time to think about whether your ex-girlfriend is really the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. After all, you did break up, meaning there was something that was not quite right between the two of you. Think about it for awhile. Try to get to the root cause of the breakup. Incessant arguing is not a root cause; neither is falling out of love. These are symptoms. You must discover what is beneath these symptoms. Was it a case of personality clash, was there a third party involved, and was it a serious character flaw or some other thing? When you find out the real reasons why you broke up, you can know whether the relationship was meant to be or not.
It’s human nature to miss something only after having lost it. So take the time apart to see how much you really miss her. If you realize that you cannot stand to be without her, then it indicates that she’s the one for you.
Once you know the reasons why you broke up and realize that your ex-girlfriend is the one you really want to spend the rest of your life with, then it’s time to do something to win her back. It starts with personal change on your part. Most likely the reason for the breakup had to do in part with each one of you. So do something to change your part in causing the breakup. Was it your impatience, your temper, your lying ways, your flirtatiousness, your domineering attitude, your selfishness or what? These things that precipitated the breakup must be changed. Usually change in these areas is never instant. It will take at least 3 weeks’ of consistently doing things the opposite way to really change. But change you must.
After at least 3 weeks, then you can find an opportunity to contact your ex-girlfriend again. When you do meet up with her, keep the conversation casual. Don’t let her feel uneasy. Just focus on becoming friends with her once again and have some fun together. Make the occasion a light and fun-filled one. Go do something you both enjoy doing, only don’t talk about getting back together again…yet.
Find a way to do something that will show her you have changed. If you have never liked window shopping, go and do it with her without complaining. It’s not the act of window shopping that you’re trying to show, it’s the patience that goes with it. If you can convince her that you have changed, half the battle is won.
Slowly show her that you still care for her. When the occasion permits, talk about all the good times you shared together and all the crazy things you did for each other. She will start to miss those times and this is going to make it easier for you to win her back.
When the time is right, you can bring up the possibility of getting back together again. Assure your ex-girlfriend that this time everything is going to be alright. Don’t make any commitments which you are not ready to keep. But if this time you are serious in making it work, say so. Pretty soon, you will win her heart over and get her back in your arms where she belongs.