Jan
16
How much is too much when your spouse is holding on to old items and pictues of his ex wife?
By
pearlyy00 asked:
I have been with my man for 5 years and my man was with his ex-wife for 3 years (dating/marriage). We are not yet married. He has her yearbooks from school, pictures of her life with and without him, their marriage album, her old ****** pump, and an assortment of other items. I personally think that if you have more than what fits in a small shoe box, then you have too much.
Fast Fix Relationship
I have been with my man for 5 years and my man was with his ex-wife for 3 years (dating/marriage). We are not yet married. He has her yearbooks from school, pictures of her life with and without him, their marriage album, her old ****** pump, and an assortment of other items. I personally think that if you have more than what fits in a small shoe box, then you have too much.
Fast Fix Relationship
20 Comments
January 20th, 2010 at 3:39 am
very true he needs to let go
January 23rd, 2010 at 6:10 am
Yes I agree. You should probably tell him that.
January 25th, 2010 at 10:33 am
Yes, he has way too much of her memories. ****** pump – you think he might be using it on himself? lol
January 28th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
you need to tell him he need his ex instead of you..he is dumb sound like to me
January 30th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
It is strange how some people will hold on to their pasts. I would talk to him about how you feel. He may not realize that these things are bugging you. Things like yearbooks and picture albums should be returned. Maybe if you tell him that maybe now is a good time to return them he will. That or box all of the crap up and put it in the attic and forget about it! Out of sight….out of mind!
February 2nd, 2010 at 5:45 am
You are right. A very small shoe box. I would tell him that he is crossing the line and hurting you and that he needs to let go of the past or let go of you.
February 5th, 2010 at 2:10 pm
A ****** pump….eww….he needs help. Ask him if he would like to talk to someone since he obviously cannot let go yet (I mean seriously..a ****** pump!?!?!?!?) I could see keeping some photos because he was married to her, but you have to learn to move on and he needs to learn that. If he wants to talk to someone get him with a pastor or a counceler to talk to. The sooner the better and when he gets help he may feel better himself.
February 8th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
unless the ex-wife is dead I’d say thats too much
if he’s keeping the pictures for his kids then thats ok.
February 8th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
You have to show respect to the memories of your loved ones,if you decide not to,then you’re playing with fire…
February 9th, 2010 at 2:04 am
Its true that he needs to let go. I woulda said to respect his actions, but too much is too much. (breast pump?)
February 9th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
that much is too much. I think the ****** pump was the item that caused the overload!
February 12th, 2010 at 2:43 pm
breast pump, yuck!!!! he needs to know that she was the past and you’re his future. he should start collecting things of yours and forget about her since they are no longer together. that’s crazy. tell him to get her out of his system before you get married-now- in order to start fresh and on a good foot.
February 13th, 2010 at 9:54 am
I agree its OK to keep Memorabilia however it should be in a closet and out of sight. That’s way too much to be kept.. Sounds like he just hasn’t let go yet.. Is there a place he could store the things. Like in a garage or somewhere else other than the house. Talk to him find out why and what he is hanging on too.
February 15th, 2010 at 3:58 am
He is trippin, he needs to get rid of that stuff. First of all, what does he want with her ****** pump? Is he usinng it for a ************ tool? Let him know that this is really bothersome for you. If he isnt willing to give them up, in my opinion, he has given her up either and might not ever. This is borderline compulsive behavior in my opinion. He may even need some help.
February 18th, 2010 at 2:43 am
I think you should compromise..let him keep the pictures,but definately get rid of the old ****** pump…is this guy for real ? ..Pictures,,evereyone has pictures..they were part of his life,and you married him accepting him knowing that she was once part of his life..sounds like you need to let go a little yourself..and get on with it..but the “breast pump” thing really boggles the mind..maybe he doesen’t even know he has it ..
I would be more concerned about how your life with this guy is rather than worry about “things” that he has..don’t be so materialistic.
February 20th, 2010 at 7:21 am
I could understand him having ONE pic but not their marriage album , her yr books, and her ****** pump? what the heeeck is that?? That is toooo much. I think that u need to talk to him and he needs to realize that is his past. You are his future. There is a reason why she is his ex. He needs to be taking pics of u and him not gazing at his ex. How would he feel if you had an old box full of old memories of ex’s??
February 21st, 2010 at 6:31 pm
he must be thinkin about her still..he can’t let her go..if he cares about ur feelings..and if he loves you enough..he should just let them go. i know its hard form him cus its 5 yrs he’s been wit her..but still..he loves you now..he needs to let those things go..unless he still thinks about her and he still doesn’t know if he wants to be with you or go back to her.
February 24th, 2010 at 7:16 am
I think if the photos relate to other members of his family, fine…like holidays, birthdays, etc…….but the ****** pump is bizzare. The other items, depending on what they are, could probably go too. I wouldn’t worry about say…a wristwatch she gave him for his b’day, but he should get rid of things like wedding bands, etc….and the ****** pump. odd.
February 26th, 2010 at 3:47 am
What if he never lets go and he really loves her still but loves you just as much maybe that picture reminds him of where he missed up with her and he is using it to remind him so he doent lose you toooooooooooooo dont be beguilded be your own *** u mption my friend whos he with well then may it is something that he will let go of after you have let go of all the concern about his ex why waste all that time thinking about him and that damm picture when you could be enjoying eachothers love GET REAL
February 28th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
hmm.. thiers 2 sides to this one. The ****** pump I am not sure about unless it was because of a kid they had. who cares about the yearbooks and pictures of her as long as not **** ones. It’s his. You are to much it shouldnt bother you. She was part of his life and all. If he does get rid of them then he should mail them or deliver them to her! They are personal items. When my husband had some items he chose to get rid of we brought them to his ex and told her that since he didnt need them they should go to her or her family because they had her picture or whatever. She was happy he was mature enough to give them back and offer them to her.R U jealous for some reason? Just let him be. He’s with you not her. it dont matter what he has. his memories not yours and you have no right to make him get rid of them! That is abuse!