Jan
09
How do i get my Boyfriend to move out of his ex-wife’s house?
By
michladi asked:
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs and he has 2 wonderful boys. He has been divorced for over 5 yrs and he still lives with his ex wife and wont make a comment with me. We both love each other and he keeps on saying that he wants to marry me but i think he is really scared to move on without his ex-wife. He always depends on her all the time. I don’t think we will ever have a life with each other. What should i do with this situation?????
Fast Fix Relationship
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs and he has 2 wonderful boys. He has been divorced for over 5 yrs and he still lives with his ex wife and wont make a comment with me. We both love each other and he keeps on saying that he wants to marry me but i think he is really scared to move on without his ex-wife. He always depends on her all the time. I don’t think we will ever have a life with each other. What should i do with this situation?????
Fast Fix Relationship
11 Comments
January 12th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
does he have a job? maybe he’s financially dependent to his ex-wife.
January 14th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
If he hasn’t left his divorced wife’s home in 5 years he more than likely never will. He sounds very co-dependent on her.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Move on.
Ever heard “why buy the cow when you get the milk for free”?
He has been playing you for 2 years. He won’t marry you unless you are going to pay to take care of him.
I would run so fast if I were you.
January 18th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
YOUR JUST GOING TO HAVE TO TELL HIM TO MOVE OUT OR GET OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT THIS DOESNT HAVE TO MEAN SPENDING LESS TIME WITH HIS CHILDREN!! I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW U HAVE COPED FOR THIS LONG!! I COULDNT HANDLE THAT!!!
January 18th, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Why should he change? He has it made. He has his cake and eats it, too. Change doesn’t happen until there’s reason to change.
You’re allowing this to happen so you’re doing it to yourself. You only have yourself to blame.
Sorry, but that’s the truth.
January 21st, 2010 at 12:15 pm
You cannot get him to move out as you are apparently realizing. That is a choice he must make on his own. What you must do is decide if you are prepared to put the rest of your life on hold for a man that wants his “Kate” and “Edith”, too. When a man (and I use the word loosely in this case) cannot seem to move past a former relationship to enter into a solid relationship with a woman he has been dating for two years and still lives with his ex-wife there are serious issues concerning both his maturity and his stability.
As long as you are willing to be strung along the situation will stay as it is. You deserve to be in a fulfilling relationship with a man that is not afraid to commit to you and a future with you. As difficult as it may seem the best thing for you to do is to sever your ties to him and work at rebuilding your self esteem and move on. In time you will be ready to meet someone else and build a life based on mutual trust, responsibility and commitment.
Good luck and God bless you.
January 24th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Can he feed himself? Is she doing his laundry and cleaning up after him? Maybe he is as dependent on her as if she was his mother. And not wanting to be with you and risk putting you into the same role – he may be worried that as soon as he turns you into her you will be the next ex. He may be very comfortable having it all- just the way he likes it. When you say depends on her is that what I have gathered above? Or is he just immature and not able to stand up for himself as a man and make adult decisions? It could also be that he is more concerned about his boys and how they will react- but he could be hurting them by showing them it is ok for Dad to have a girlfriend and still live with mom- that could really mess up a young childs mind for future relationships. I think the sooner he gets past whatever fantasy he is living in the better for everyone- or you just need to not participate.
January 25th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Are you sure he is divorced? I just can’t understand why he is still staying with his ex wife? Maybe he’s still her husband!
If you’re really his girlfriend of two years, am pretty sure you can open up and confront the situation to him. and get the answers you want…communicate with him, you don’t deserve to have a “no comment answer”
January 27th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
I am so sorry to be so blunt but he will never leave her! No matter how much he may stress to you about his love for you and how him and his ex are so over but he needs to be there for his kids.. bal bla.. BULLSHIT! hes telling you complete lies! When a person is fed up and ready to move on under any circumstances they get the hell up and out and hes obviously not doing that!! Dont be fooled he still f****** her and probably you at the same time I hope your protecting yourself(condoms)HIV is serious but get out NOW!!!!!
January 30th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Divorced for 5 years? but what is his reason of still living with her together with the kids? Are you sure they were divorced or maybe that’s what he only said to you so that you will stick to him.
It only shows that he wants to keep you and his family. If for 2 years it was like that, then there’s no reason of still living with him. Find somebody who will love you and you alone and marry you and who can stand on his own.
Good luck.
February 1st, 2010 at 11:51 pm
RED FLAG!!!! If after 2 years with u he still won’t let his x go there is a major problem. The fact that he is still living with her stems far beyond his boys I can assure u. I understand with young boys he will have to have contact with her, but it should not exceed problems or arrangements that have to do with the children. If he truly loves u he would never stay in a situation that hurt u so much. You need to stand strong and let him know u want to build a life with him and his children and his x needs to be put in his past where she belongs. As long as he knows he can live in his current situation and still have u then there will be no change. And he should not be depending on his x, that is your job now not hers. Don’t give him ultimatums, men **** that, but let him know you can not go on like this and that u love him very much and he not only needs to move on for u but for your future as a couple. If he refuses to do it then unfortunately u need to move on because everyone deserves to be valued and treasured and his actions certainly do not reflect that, and u deserve better for yourself. Good luck and remember people only treat us how we allow them to. I hope it all works out for u.