When we were breaking up, he told me that he thought i was still punishing him for what he did to me all those years ago, but i don’t believe i have. I was getting through it and i loved him too much to let him go. but now he’s gone, and he said that he loves me so much more than anything but he just can’t handle me and my temper. its been a month since we’ve spoken, i want to give him time, and let him breathe a bit, but over the holidays, people have been pestering him about it and he hasn’t really had enough time to think. He said to my friend that i will never be able to change and that i will never be able to forgive him. Understandably, i know that i have a bad temper, but i don’t go psycho for no reason.

i’m thinking of not talking to him for around 3-6 months to let him grow and mature a bit. but how long do you think is too long for him to think about this? i don’t want to wait around forever for him. i am so in love with him, how do i show him that i have changed? how do i show him that i’m not a horrible person that has a really hot temper? i just don’t understand how he can just say that he loves me so much more than anything, but he just does this? he even kissed me when we were breaking up, but i had to be the one to stop it. he’s sending so many confusing signals! i don’t understand. he was hugging me, and also told me that he doesn’t know how he can love anything more than he loves me, but he just can’t be with me. he doesn’t think i can change, but when something big like this happens, you just feel that you need to change, because its not alright to treat people like that. I know i can be a horrible ***** to him, but he’s not exactly sunshine either. when you love someone, its unconditional, and i am able to see through his faults. how do i make him forgive me and trust that i won’t be that horrible person i was a month ago.

i was also talking to a friend, and she said that he’s happy with the way things are currently because he needs time to define himself in the world, but how much time do i give him? i feel so horrible, and i love him and i want to be with him because i love him, not because i want a relationship. i am so in love with him. i feel like, 3 years means nothing to him, because he’s stopped all contact and it just seems like i mean nothing to him now. i gave 100% in this, and it’s like he only gave 20%.
i understand that i have some growing up to do aswell, i never said that i didn’t. i’m only young, but i feel that this guy and i have such a special connection and i don’t know what my life would be like without him. i just want him to trust that i am trying to change and make myself a better person.

Winning Back Your Ex