If you want to get back with your ex-boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, I guarantee there’s one thing you MUST do. It does not matter why you broke up, whether it was cheating or abuse or neglect or arguments or whatever, there is one common thing that is necessary for every couple to do if you want to make up.
There is no making up or getting your ex back without this indispensable act. But is a right way and a wrong way to apologize.
Sociologists say that words comprise only 7% of what we communicate. Other elements of communication are tone of voice, facial expression, body language, the look of the eyes etc. These other elements are weightier than the words you say. So if you just say, “I’m sorry,” but the other parts of your voice, face and body don’t match up, you are not apologizing the right way.
When you have just broken up, very often you feel regret, remorse, sadness and feel sorry for what you’ve done. It is at this initial stage immediately after the break up that you want to say, “I’m sorry,” and sometimes even tearfully. Nine times out of ten, this is the wrong way to apologize. Why? Because of the timing. When an apology is made at the wrong time, it becomes ineffective and therefore pointless.
To get your ex back, you need to apologize in the correct way. Do not do it just because you feel lonely without your ex, do not do it out of impulse either. A correct apology is one that is sincere and genuine. For it to be sincere and genuine, you must put yourself into your ex’s shoes and feel what he or she feels.
When two people break up, it’s never just one person’s fault. It’s almost always both persons’ fault. When you apologize, you must forget about what your ex did wrong and focus on what you did wrong, put yourself into your ex’s shoes and feel what he or she felt at the time. Only when you can empathize in this way can your apology really be sincere. Then, not only will your words be right, the other aspects of your communication will be right, too. That’s when your apology becomes correct.
A correct apology is also one that is done at the right time. It is no point trying to apologize when your ex is not ready to receive it. So you have to wait for the most opportune time when he or she has calmed down and become emotionally ready to listen to you. Wait for such a time and then make your apology.
When an apology is made in the right way, it will always be received. And that is the indispensible part of getting back with your ex.